Is This Real?
by MY TIME TO SHINE
Summary: JK ROMANCE. Problems bloom between Kate and Jack. Can they solve THEIR problems before its too late?
1. Default Chapter

I was just walking down the beach when I tripped- tripped, on nothing but my own feet. I landed on my hands and knee's, gasping. Sawyer came up behind me and with that arrogant air stated,

" Trip over your feet a lot freckles?"

" Apparently." I mumbled irritated picking myself up off the ground. When I got on my feet, I swayed a bit, but thanks to Sawyer I didn't fall- again.

" Maybe you should go and see doc Sheppard?" he asked. For the 1st time in the 2 months they had been stuck on the island, Sawyer was being considerate.

" His name is Jack. And no, I'm fine Sawyer." I AGAIN clarified for him. He took an assessing glance at me, and then turned to leave. I watched his retreating back, and sighed. He was easier to fall for then Jack. Jack was so unpredictable. Like, only yesterday when we opened the case and he found the guns, and PERSNAL leverage. The airplane he'd found inside the brief case meant so much to me. It was my father's- he was a pilot until when I distracted him when he was driving and he crashed. Died instantly. My fault. I killed him. At least that's what I thought. That's what I told Jack, I killed someone. " It belonged to the man I killed." I not used to telling anyone about anything about my life. It was mine alone, and nobody had to learn anything about it.

I picked up my feet and started moving back towards the caves. It was getting dark; I always stayed on the beach because I never wanted to face Jack- it wasn't always like that. Ever since he found out I was a criminal and started treating me like one. I wasn't. In my heart, and for fact I wasn't. I needed to get my thoughts straightened out. I just couldn't forget that one image- it was burned in my memory forever.

_ I woke up in the middle of a jungle somewhere. I had no clue as to where I was or what had happened. When I looked around I couldn't see anybody; then the days events came flashing back to me. The airplane, the Marshall, and the people screaming. They wouldn't stop! My head was pounding; my back hurt like hell, and a branch was poking me in the ass. I tried to move, but it hurt to much. I told myself I had to get up! When I finally got into an upright position. I moved toward where I thought was the beach. It had to be a beach because I was in the middle of a treed jungle._

_ I finally got onto the beach and my breath hitched in my throat. Everything was a mess, a measicure. People screaming, bleeding, dieing, and watching. People walking around in a haze, almost as if they didn't notice the other racket. All hell had broken loose. The airplane was in shattered pieces, the back engine was still working, and soon it might blow up. I was scared, scared to look, scared to not look. I didn't know what to think. I saw what was happening but I couldn't move, I was paralyzed. I couldn't feel anything; the only thing I could feel was the coldness of the tears running down my cheeks. I had to get out of here, and then I realized this wasn't something I could just walk away from, couldn't lie to myself that this wasn't happening._

_ Finally after watching for 5 minutes maybe more I moved. But not toward the hell that caught my attention, but back towards the trees, where nothing seemed so complicated. I was just walking when I stumbled upon a man with a deep cut on his back. _

That was the day I met Jack. That was the day a big pat of me died. All of a sudden I ran into somebody and fell on the ground, and all the air knocked out of me. I stayed lying on the ground till somebody's voice brought me to my feet. " Jack?"

" Are you okay Kate?" he asked concerned.

" Ya," I wheezed out. " Ya. I think so." The world around me was spinning, then my body hit the ground with a thud. The only other thing I felt was Jack's strong hands wrapping about me.


	2. I'm Okay

I'm Okay

That stupid voice was so annoying. Someone yelling, calling my name. My eyes wouldn't open, and I had trouble even thinking. I wanted to sleep so badly, but this person wouldn't let me. All of a sudden I felt a cool liquid on my face, I jolted upright. I looked around me and found Jack looming above me.

" Sorry, you wouldn't wake up." He hesitated. " Kate, how do you feel?"

" I'm okay. I feel a little dizzy." I looked up at him and found worried lines etched on his face.

" Have you been drinking enough water?"

" Ya."

" Are you pregnant?"

" Y- What!"

" This commonly happens to women that are pregnant. If you've been drinking enough water, and I know that your not dehydrated. You don't look sick…. I only asked Kate." He looked through her eyes with knowing. Knowing something was going on that I wouldn't share with him. I wanted to scream, cry, and kill him all at the same time!

" I'm not pregnant Jack. Why would I be? It's probably just the air, it's humid…." I couldn't think of anything else to say to him to excuse that thought out of his head. " A criminal Jack, doesn't have sex in jail cells." His eyes hardened. I knew that I had pissed him off, but he wasn't about to yell and scream and stop bugging me about me fainting, for apparently no reason.

" Criminals don't deserve children." He shot back, and that hurt. He had hit his mark, tears stung at the back of her eyes. I had brought on this argument, I had started it, but he didn't need to be so harsh. I'm not a criminal. Never was. He wouldn't understand it though. Yes I've done bad things, but not bad enough for him to down size me like he has.

" That's not true and you know it." My tears were about to fall when my anger started to take over. He shook his head.

" Kate, you're a criminal and when and if we ever get rescued you'll be back in jail. Maybe it was luck that brought you here?" His eyes on hers he left the cave, and I laid back down in makeshift bed. It wasn't luck that brought me here, it was the Marshall and his stupid assumptions!

Later that day I thought that I was good enough to go and check out what everybody was doing. Sawyer was in his lounge chair, being an ass, Jack was helping Boone with a cut he'd got, Shannon and Syaid were talking about the French ladies work, Jin and Sun were talking together in Chinese, and building a garden, Walt and his dog were playing fetch, and Hurley and Charlie were making swords out of wood to play with. Claire was resting, and Locke was nowhere to be seen, almost usual.

The island was getting to be almost as homey as it could be. People had places to sleep, to live! I had given up on hope for anyone ever finding us. We've been here for 2 months, and why would they look on an deserted island? My hope of raising my child in a good place was ruined. Nothing I could say or do could deny that I'm pregnant. I'll start showing soon, and then things will get complicated.

I'd wished for a better home for my child. Someone better than who I am! Somebody better than a killer. Someone when they get home can play with her, laugh with her, love her. She/ he needs a better home, a better mother. I snapped out of my thoughts when Walt came up and asked me to play with him and his dog.

" Not right not Walt, why don't you ask your dad? I think he can spare some time with you. Your not that intolerable." I winked. He laughed but his smiled disappeared when he realized I wasn't going to play with him.

" Oh… Okay…. I guess. Michael just doesn't spend a lot of time with me." I touched his shoulder.

" Sorry kiddo, but Jack says I should take it easy." Okay so he didn't 'say' that but he was thinking it.

" Okay, I'll ask Hurley." He smiled and left. Cute kid.

The day was beautiful the sun was shinning, the temp wasn't hot, but not cool, it was amazing. The island has a 'monster' on it yet, in the day you could scarcely believe that because everything looks so normal. It's not home, but I have a feeling it will be for a long time.


	3. Decisions

I laid down on the beach and snoozed for a while. The sun hitting me with its beautiful rays, and the ocean mist spraying over me. It seemed like a fairy tale- almost. I heard someone walking towards me, and glanced up. Sawyer.

" Hi ya Freckles." He sat down next to me and I closed my eyes.

" Hey Sawyer." There was an awkward pause, then I sat up. " Did you want something?"

" Yes and no." I cocked a brow- Sawyer can be an ass, but never THIS confusing.

" Yes…."

" I heard you and Jack fighting." He admitted. I wanted to smack myself. GREAT! Just great! He'll never let me live this down. " And doc wants me to check on you." I sighed and got up.

" I don't need any babysitter Sawyer- although I appreciate it. I'm going to walk around the beach." And I left him their looking at the waves as they washed in.

_FLASH BACK:_

_" Where are you taking me?" I asked Jake._

_" You'll see." I felt a light breeze, and knew we were at a resort by a beach. "Okay open your eyes!" he instructed. I did and I was in a room- with big glass windows all opened. A huge room with a kitchen, living room, bedroom, dinning room; everything you could imagine. _

_" What? How did you…" He shushed me with a finger on my lips._

_" Money." Then his lips found mine in a passionate embrace._

The sun was setting by the time she headed back to camp. When she got there, everyone was oblivious and tired. It seemed that they'd never EVER get saved. She wanted to see Jack, wanted him to apologize to me.

" Hey, do any of you know where Jack is?" I asked hopefully.

" Ya, he's in the caves. But he's kind of testy today, I'd be careful." Boon warned me. I nodded, I wasn't about to say I know who put him in that mood. When I got to the entrance of the mouth of the cave I saw Jack just sitting there staring through unseeing eyes at the fire. When I walked further into the room he stirred, and looked up at me.

" Are you hurt?" he asked. No emotion in his voice.

" No." I said flatly. I didn't deserve treatment like this! " I came so you can give me a proper, 'I'm sorry Kate'." He shook his head.

" I'm sorry Kate." He stood up and made his way over to me.

" Really?" I asked surprised looking shocked.

" Yes. But I have to know. Are you pregnant? It would help me a great deal." I sighed, he would never drop just drop it! I shook my head.

" No." I looked into his eyes, and knew I shouldn't have lied. It was my decision- my life. MY BABY.


	4. She lied, He lied

She lied to me- he could tell by the expression on her face. The evil glint in her eye, and the smug grin. My conscious didn't want to believe it but…. Kate's a professional criminal, and a professional liar. He couldn't trust her worth a damn anymore! I guess I'll just have to play along for a bit, and maybe she'll feel guilty enough to confess…

Claire walked over- more like hobbled over to me and plopped down in the sand.

" How are ya feeling?" I asked.

" Kate I'm pregnant- I'm huge- I feel horribable." She laughed humorously. "How are you doing?"

" Oh… I'm holding up I suppose." I looked over at her, and her protruding belly and realized that is how pregnant I will be in another 7 months.

" Kate… Kate…" Claire was calling me back to the land of the living.

" Ya?"

" What do you think is going to happen to us?" she asked question's that went unanswered lingered near her. " I mean my baby can't…. I don't think we can…." She hesitated, and then I offered the word she wouldn't use.

" Survive."

" Ya. A baby needs nutrition, and a good home! This damned beach is not a good home!" she complained. I couldn't even imagine what she was going through, the hell that was draining her or energy. She was 8 ½ months pregnant. I didn't blame her.

" We're gonna be okay Clair. We will." I said with conviction to her. But in the back of my mind I whispered. " We have to be."

I was walking toward the lush, green trees, just to take my mind off things for a while I spotted Sawyer. Okay, I was acting irrationally but I was just so pissed off at everything. So I slowly bent down- picked up a rock, and threw it as hard as I could at him. The only thing I heard was the thud of the rock on the ground. Then I heard someone breathing from behind me.

" Saw that one coming Freckles. You did that to me once already 'member?" My breath hitched in my throat. His breath was sweeping across my neck and sending shivers down my spine. Wait a second-! This is Sawyer we're talking about. I turned around determined to set him straight when his lips came crashing down on mine. I was about to pull back, but for some reason I couldn't. I violated my rules, my priorities, and wrapped my arms around his neck. The feel of his lips on mine- the passion, the intense pleasure. It was all there. But I didn't love this man, or care for this man as much as I cared for Jack. The only thing that could stop me from kissing Sawyer was-

" Wow Kate am I interrupting?" asked a cold, hard, steely voice. JACK! I immediately broke off the kiss. I look over Sawyer's shoulder and saw Jack. Jack was looking through tiny slit eyes; glaring at me like I was stupid enough to even consider KISSING Sawyer. Which I am.

" NO."

" YES." Sawyer and I both said in unison. Sawyer sighed. " She's lying Doc- she was all over me." Sawyer said arrogantly like I CAME ON TO HIM! PLEASE!

" What? You bastered! He's lying Jack I swear!" I knew my plea sounded so dumb- at least to my ears it did.

" I don't care Kate. Really its your life to screw up." And he walked away. Boy, when I start making messes- I just can't stop. When Jack walked away, I punched Sawyer so hard that it hurt my knuckled.

" You jerk." And I walked away- leaving Sawyer moaning in pain and my ego destroyed.

Thank you all for reading it. Glad you enjoy my story. Jack and Kate romance is coming up REALLY soon. Stay tooned.  



	5. Apologies Unheard

" Jack! Wait! Jack come back here, please." I begged, and to my ears I sounded weak, and the apology hollow. He stopped and turned around slowly, when our eyes met; mine full of apologies, and his full of betrayal.

" Kate its okay. Just go back to Sawyer. I can manage." Then he turned and stocked off into the distance towards the caves. I couldn't go run after him- he needed to cool off. She knew how it felt to see someone you love- like be pulled into someone else's arms.

_ FLASHBACK:_

I was running from what I saw…Jake kissing another women…touching another women…playing another women. I couldn't believe after all that we went through together that he would cheat on me. Especially since I told him I was pregnant with HIS child. I was so happy then. I loved the way it sounded. Pregnant. Jake and I made a child, we were supposed to be happily ever after. But not the end. Men were players, and I knew that I had to get away before I did something VERY irrational. Too late………

I was laying on the beach in the moonlight looking at the way the ocean waves looks like silver. The all of a sudden she heard someone from behind her. She turned to look up when somebody punched her- hard. I fell unconscious after the 3rd or 4th blow to my stomach and head. The next thing I knew I was waking up to a new day- in the same spot where I was attacked. I didn't want to move, didn't want to look down at my body and see that it was bloody and bruised. But I had too. My head only lifted merely inches off the ground when my head started burning, and throbbing. I cursed then tried again. When I looked down at my stomach I saw blood, and a knife half way in half way of out of my thigh. That's when all of my pain started to take full force, and slam into me like tons of brick walls.

I didn't know what was happening, I heard a voice asking me repeatedly what happened. I couldn't answer, my lips wouldn't move, wouldn't formulate an answer. Then I felt myself being moved. As the hands grasped me I knew, I knew Jack wasn't helping my to safety- it was Syaid, and Sawyer. Their voices became clearer now, I could just open my eyes- when I cried out in pain. My whole body was racking with every strangled sob that came out. Blood was dripping down my legs, and now Sawyer and Syaid were running. Another shudder racked my body as it would seem a contraction hit. I cried out again, screamed again.

" Kate, Kate, damnit she's having a miscarriage!" Jack shouted. Then it became all blurry and I fell into oblivion.


	6. Pain

" Kate, Kate, Kate." Jack called. He looked down at the white figure, she was supposed to be beautiful, but she looked dull now. Sick. Kate stirred, and opened her eyes, her mouth opened and closed. He saw the pain in her eyes; he saw how bad it hurt her emotionally, and physically.

" What happened?" her voice was only but a whisper.

" Someone stabbed you, and beat you up…." He was about to tell her that she had a miscarriage when she shushed him with a finger on his lips.

" Don't say it!" she warned. He looked into her eyes and he saw anger, fear, pain, and sadness. He wanted to make it all better for her. He bent his head and kissed her lips gently.

" I'm sorry." Jack said when he drew back. He looked at her, and tears spilled over her face. Jack couldn't take it anymore, and hugged her to his chest. He never wanted to let go.

Sorry that its such a short chapter but I'm making a very long one right now- Kate and Jack romance A TON OF IT up ahead.


	7. Ethan

I awoke to the sound of Jack's voice. I opened my eyes and saw him looking down at me.  
" How do you feel?" he asked truely and utterly concerned. I shook my head slowly-  
" I hurt." My eyes never strayed from his eyes- I kept staring. Tears formed in my eyes, my baby was gone! Died! Because of somebody that had obviously tried to kill me! Jack sat down beside me and had a serious look on his face.  
" Think please- do you know who did this to you? Did you see any part of him- hear his voice?" His voice was pleading with me to give him something to work with. I thought back- but couldn't remember anything significant. All I knew was it was someone that knew how to hurt someone very badly. With a good punch... Eathan! I gasped, " What! What's wrong?"  
" Eathan!" I pratically shouted.  
" That son of a bitch." Jack muttered. I tried to sit up- but a shooting pain ran up my stomach- back- and head. I groaned with pain and laid myself gently back down. " I'm sorry." he whispered. I looked up at him startled.  
" Why?"  
" That fight- I saw you and Sawyer making out. I freaked out. I feel responsible for what happened to you. If you hadn't stalked away mad- he wouldn't have got to you." He bowed his head. I reached out and touched his cheek.  
" I agree, not about the responsiable part but about over reacting. You're right I was making out with him. He came onto me though. I know how hard that is to watch..." My hand fell from his face as a flash back of the horriable memory came rushing back. Jack shook his head,  
" I guess at this moment it doesn't matter." And he was right of course. We had much more pressing issues like who tried to kill me, and if it was Eathen how do we find him? This whole damn air plane crash on some mysterious island sounds like some dumb tv show. But this was real- someone was after me, and I didn't even know it. But one reason I keep asking myself is... why me? Out of everyone else what was so importnant that he kill me? I bet it's some weird phyco issue he has. " Want some pain killers?" Jack asked. I nodded- some of those bad boys would be good right now. I watched him bend over and rummage through the bag. I saw his muscles flex beneath his shirt, and the sexy way his muscles looked when he was using them and... " Kate?" he called me back to reality.  
" Ya? Oh." He helped me lift up my head to down the pill. My head was swimming and it hurt like hell. My stomach felt like someone had shot me a hundred times, my hip felt like some was burning me. And all the bruises were almost no pain compared to all the others. I laid back down and sighed. This is as bad as it got for me at least. " Jack." I whispered.  
" Yeah?"  
" I'm sorry." With that I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

It had been only 5 days after my injuries and Ethan had managed to show up 3 times. Jack gave me a gun to keep next to me incase he showed up in the infirmerary. It was a little weird seeing Jack hand me a gun right in front of my face- I thought he'd never trust me with one again.  
That night it was dark and I was a lone. Usually Jack's with me- but he was going around making his nightly rounds to check on people. I heard someone walk into the caves, " Jack!" I called out. " Jack is that you!" But the only thing I could here were foot steps coming closer and closer.  
" Sorry doll it's me." Came a voice in the darkness. Then I realized who it was. Ethan! I grabbed for the gun but I could reach it. My head started to spin, and a knot of anxiety was forming in the pit of my stomach. " You know, your not the easiet person to kill." He drawled. Stay cool. I kept remiding myself. But I was at a total disadvantage. I was hurt, my side was wrapped up in gaz, and every part of my body hurt like hell.  
" Really?" my voice was shaking and I hoped he didn't hear it.  
" Yea." I kept reaching, searching for my gun- I could feel alittle part of it- I just couldn't get at it though! When he finally came into the light part of the cave I saw how horriable he looked. The left side of his face was scraped up- and bloody, as if someone had just hit him. I looked lower and saw a 9 mil. in his tight grasp. My breath hitched in my throat.  
I'm dead.


	8. The things we should have known

** I kept groping for my weapon- I just couldn't reach it! He came closer and aimed the gun at me. His finger was pushing harder and harder on the lever. This is it. NO! I yelled to myself. With out any thought I stretched so much that pain shot through my whole body. I finally reached my gun- and took the safty off and shot him instantly with out any hesitaion. Once he was on the ground I rememberd all the horriable things he did too the people that I started to love, and how he almost killed me. And how he killed my baby! I kept shooting, and shooting until I heard someone yell. I looked up and saw Jack looking stunned. I was panting, my face was white, my breaths were coming in shallow pants, and my whole body ached.**

** " Oh god." Jack muttered. But I found he wasn't looking at the dead Ethan on the ground. He was looking at me. I looked down to where he was looking at and saw blood trickling down my side- and a gun shot wound grazed my arm. The world started spinning- and I couldn't breath enough- then I stopped breathing and fell against the make shift bed and the gun fell from my grasp. The world went dark then, and all I could remember was calling out Jack's name, and the sound of people all around me, and water washing over me. Then darkness once again. It was scary. I felt dead, I looked dead but once I woke up I realized I wasn't dead. But I wished I was. The pain engulfing my body was like someone torchering me over and over unrelentlessly. I sobbed, and moaned in my sleep. I felt like I was dying slowly. The pain eased some days then came back full force others. Though most of my memories of all of that pain was scattered- I always remembered Jack being there for me. When I sobbed in my sleep, I remember having soft, gentle pressure sourond me. His arms, his heart giving me strength. Each and everyday I kept Jack in mind. I kept pushing forward, it hurt, mently, and phycially- but I kept on. Finally after 3 weeks of pain and suffering- it came to an abrupt hault.**

** Sometimes I'd came lurking out of the caves and wandered around the beach. I realized lately that Jack had always seemed to keep in contact with me. He rarly left my side when I was out and about at night. And when I wasn't he watched me sleep. I still had to sleep in the infirmerary just for precautions after all thats happened to me, Jack was worried I'd go into shock. That my body would go into shock and shut down. Sometimes if I was lucky I had time to myself, and I rubbed my stomach as if I still had a baby growing inside me. I sobbed and cried, let out all my anger and frustration. With Jack around I just couldn't do that. He'd think of me as weak, and clingy. I'm an independent woman- and I stuck to what I believe in. Jack's presence always surrounded me to the point of maddness. I love Jack, and finally I can admitt that to myself- but I just can't get some alone time with him on me- literally 24/7. It was hard- but I'd manage. Like I always seem to do- with out breaking down... RIGHT!**

** " Hey Kate, how are ya feelin' today?" Jack asked as he sat down beside me on the sand. I sighed. He already asked me that 100 times already.**

** " Find Jack, just fine. You can stop asking me every hour you know. The answer probably won't change." I snapped out frustrated.**

** " Sorry." He didn't seem real sorry to me, but I somewhat accepted it. Knowing he was just doing his job. Being the overly observent, protective doctor.**

** " Yeah." I mummbled. I laid back in the sand and placed a hand on my belly and winced.**

** " You okay?" Okay that was it. The last straw. I jumped up and he jumped up with me.**

** " You know what Dr. Sheppard? I'm okay, okay? Stop asking me stupid quesions! Stop following me around like a freakin' love sick puppy, and for gods sake, just fucking leave me alone for 2 fucking seconds of this fucking day! OKAY!" I yelled, and regreted what I said by the hurt expression on his face. My body was shaking for sobs, tears, anger, and sadness. I ran off into the woods, tears streaming down my cheeks as I went.**

** Once I stopped for air, I heard somebody else's foot steps behind mine. Please say it's not Sawyer, PLEASE! But as I turned I found it was Jack. Anger clearly showing, and a look of concern.**

** " Damnit Kate, I only check up on you every day because your injured! And fine, I'll leave you alone- the only reason why I do that is to protect you!-" As he rambled on and on I slide down a tree and put my face in my hands. Once Jack saw what was right infront of his face he bent down next to me. I lifted my head and his arms opened to welcome me in. I struggled into his embrace, and hung on for dear life. I didn't want him to think that I was weak, but I needed someone to hold me as I cried. Someone to comfort me. And the person was right infront of my face the whole entire time. Once I stopped crying, and my breath started to even out he asked, " Tell me what's bothering you so much Kate? Besides me?" I took a deep breath and pulled out of the warm arms, and looked into his dark, chocolate brown eyes.**

** " I lost everything by coming to this island. I lost my heart, I lost my soul, I lost my goodness, and I lost my child. My baby needed a better home, a better parent," My voice broke, and I looked down, away from the eyes that saw through me. " I was planning on keeping it. But then the Marhsell and all this shit that went on... I decided it was better to give it away than to keep it. Besides in jail they'll just send my baby away to some foster home, and foster parents I don't even know! I lost my father, my mother hates me, I lost my priorrites." Finally I summond up the courage to look back into his eyes. " I'm sorry I snapped at you, I just needed time to think about... things. I don't think you can, or ever will for that matter understand this but... I felt so attached to that baby, I felt like I've known her for so long. I talked to her, laughed, and cried. Now I won't ever have that companion. Ever. I don't have friends ANYWHERE. And the friends I used to have; they didn't want to associate with a criminal." I took a deep breath and said the very last part, " And I don't want to leave this island, because I'd go back to jail, and I'd loose the one person that I love." Jack looked quzzically back at me,**

** " Who?" he asked.**

** " You." I whispered. " I'd lose you." Tears ran down my cheeks, and he hugged me fericly.**

** " I love you too Kate." When we broke apart I looked into his eyes, and we both moved, and our lips found each others, and we kissed. It was gentle, polite, soft, but it quickly changed. To needy, insistent, hot, and passonaite. All I could think about was how I never wanted to leave all of this man, all of this heart, all of this love behind.!**


	9. Now You Know

My emotions were going haywire, and my stomach was churning. I felt sick, and depressed. I took a step back from where I threw up, and looked around. This had been happening for the last few days, something was up- but I just couldn't bring my self to talk to Jack. I was just about to walk away from my puke pile when hard hands wrapped around my waiste. I screamed, then a hand covered my mouth,

" It's just me." Said a deep male voice, I recongized instatly. Jack, I sighed and melted into his embrace.

" Oh, you scared the hell outta me." I murrmurred. I felt weak, and deflated.

" You okay?" he whispered in my ear. Oh, damn, I really wanted to tell him the truth- but I didn't want him to worry over nothing. I nodded,

" Ya, I'm fine." He chuckled,

" So what are you doing out here in the forest?" His question was more of a demand I-need-to-know- sort of thing.

" Just... taking a stroll." It felt like my bones turned to jello, and the world was spinning faster than I could comprehend. My knee's buckled beneath me, and I started sliding down Jack's hard body. I immediatly felt hands pull me back up, and gently lay me on the ground.

Jack kept shaking me, wanting me too open my eyes. They felt heavy, and I just wanted to sleep, relax, go into dream world where nothing seems so horriable. Finally I opened my heavy lidded eyes, and looked into the hard lines of Jack's face.

" Are you okay? What's wrong?" He immediatlly went into doctor mode, and I just really wanted Jack. I just looked at him through lowered lashes, but my lips wouldn't form any word to say that I'm okay. Finally summoning up the stregnth- I took a deep breath and said,

" No." My voice sounded harsh, and dry. Jack forwned. He felt my forehead, and a look crossed his face. " What?" I asked, my voice just a bit stronger.

" Your... cold." And he was right. My whole body felt like it had been stuck in a deep freeze freezer for a million years. " Have you thrown up lately, drank some weird tasteing water? Anything?"

" Throwing up- all the time. I wanted to tell you but..." He nodded, and scooped me up in his lean, strong arms. " We need to get you back to camp." He stated, and took off power walking. I grappled for him- he was walking to fast, and my surroundings blended in to one big blerry seen. I gave a harsh cry, and tried to push away, but his arms didn't drop me. So, embaressing as it may be, I threw up on Jack. Talk about disgusting- but apparently he didn't think som he slowed his pace, but took bigger strides. It seemed forever until we made it back to camp. When we reached the caves he carefully lowered me down onto the make shift bed.

I groaned in protest of the secure arms they were no longer around me, and the warmth she just started to feel. " I'll be right back." He walked out of the cave for a second then returned. He came at me with water, and some pills. " Here." He opened the cap of the water bottle and held my head as I drunk it. " These pills are to fight infections, and a slight seditive also..."

" Infection?" I questioned.

" That's what I think you have- It has all the signs of one..." I nodded, and took the pill with out hesitation. I really wanted to sleep, and feel a lot better when I wake up. A few minutes after I took the pill it effect was almost immediate, and I started to doze off. Then I heard Jack mutter a curse, and rifle through some objects.

" W...What's... wr...wrong?" I tried to manage to say, when he turned around he smiled.

" You just get some sleep okay Kate?" I barely agreed before I fell into a deep nights sleep.

I awoke with dread, and alarm when I looked around the cave and didn't see Jack.

" JACK!" I called out, and my echo rang loud and clear to anyone who was listening.

" Sorry Freckles, he checked out for a while." Said a southern voice. Sawyer. I struggled to sit up, but in the end laid back down.

" Where'd he go?" I asked. A cold chill creeped up my spin at the thoughts that rushed into my mind. I knew something was going on.

" Oh, well... someone came into the camp with a gun, and being a maniack." He smirked. " Jack, Syaid, and Michael, are out to save the day. Like always." He muttered. My heart quickened,

" WHy didn't you go after the crazed idiot?" I aksed harshly. Why did Jack have to leave her with him? Sawyer swore than go to his feet-

" Because he wants you safe and sound okay Freckles?" A knot started to form in the pit of my stomach- I blanched and Sawyer noticed it. " What? What's wrong Freckles." He knelt down to my side, and looked into my face truely concerned.

" You have a gun, right?" I whispered. He nodded. " Give it to me," I demanded from him. He looked puzzled then took a step back.

" Whoa there, I know your in pain but..."

" Not to kill myself jackass. I'm going out there to see what's going on." I struggled to stand up, and Sawyer just kept looking at me puzzled. Then he clearly connected the dots,

" Uh uh, sorry no."

" Come with me." I pleaded. I was still ill, and I would need someone or something to lean on here and there, and to help me get to Jack better. I took one look at Sawyers face and knew we were going for sure. Sawyer is such an readable guy, his eyes gives him away. He's testonstrone filled, and loves action, and thrill. He'd do it, I know he would.

I was power walking through the trees as fast as my sore feet could manage. My breathing was heavy, and I felt like a rag doll. I had a gun firmly positioned in my hand, and a flash light in the other. " You keeping up Sawyer?" I called behind me. When no answer came, I looked behind me and only saw trees. A ripe set of fears came flooding through her mind, but she kept on going, and going, and going. Calling out Sawyer, and Jack's name, trying to locate them. All of a sudden I heard voices surround me,

" Go back,"

" Don't look back,"

"Criminal,"

" They're dead." The voiced kept getting louder and louder, I screamed and yelled at them, but they were unrelentless. I ran, and ran, till I stumbled unpon something. A person. That person, was actually 3 people. Jack, Syaid, and Michael all in a heap on the soggy, forest floor. I crashed down on my knee's not even caring that it hurt like HELL, that I fell on rocks. First I checked all their paulse points and made sure they were still breathing, and alive. They all were thank god, then I started yelling at Jack, slapping him, trying to wake him up. I was just about to wack him again when a hand grabbed my wrist. I gave out a small squeak.

" That's gonna hurt when he gets up, ya know." Sawyer reminded her. I nodded, and stood up shakily.

" We got to get them back to camp. Here, help me wake Michael up okay?" We set to work, and when Michael woke up, we tried Syaid- but damn that man was a sound sleeper. Thankfully we had one man up, and we carried Syaid, and Jack back ourselves.

When we got them into the infrimerary, I set to work. I got out water, and splashed it on their faces- that got their attention. They were up and gasping, in mere seconds. Jack looked over at me, and had a confused look on his face.

" What happened?" He asked**_. I shrugged, that was what I wanted to know._**


	10. I can make it through the rain

I sat next to Jack, for god knows how long. I watched him sleep, watched how his chest raise and fall. I felt so content there with him- until a wave of nausa hit me. I stumbled out of the cave and vomited several times. Jack is usually right about dignosiges- but those pills weren't working worth a damn. When I went back into the caves, I noticed Jack sitting up, I ran over to him but that wasn't the smartest move I'd made. The world spun around me, but I willed myself not to fall infront of Jack- he needed me. I collasped next to his side.

" Hey, how are ya feeling?" I asked breathlessly. He gave me a once over,

" I'm fine- you look like hell Kate. What's been going on when I was out?" He asked concerned. Her whole body seemed to shake here and there, and she was pale white. Jack knew it had to be bad water, or infection. He had to keep her on those pills. Kate's head bent low, and her shoulder's began to tremble. " Kate?" He titled me head up with 2 fingers under my chin. " What's wrong?" Tears were spilling down my cheeks, and I wrapped my arms around his neck.

He rocked me back and forth, and my sobs quietly subsided. I looked up into Jack's eyes,

" I was so scared Jack... You were gone when I woke up and I knew something was wrong." My words got chopped off, but I got up the nerve to speak the rest. " You would never leave me." I whispered. And I prayed to god he never would. I don't think I could survive with out him there for me.

" Never." He whispered back to me. For my ears only. I looked at him and a smile tugged at my lips.

" Thank you. For being there for me Jack." I pulled his head down to mine, and we kissed gently. Then kiss lips pressed more firmly to mine, and we struggled to get closer to each others body. Jack's hands were planted on my hips, and my arms were around his neck. It got intense, and I knew we had to stop. I pulled away- both gasping for air.

" Your welcome." He stated simply. He stated it so smugly that I burst out laughing, and he chuckled too. Someone cleared their throat from the mouth of the cave, and we both turned to look straight at Hurley.

" Uh... dudes. There's like a fight going down on the beach. Just thought, uh, ya know never mind I can see you are busy." He went to walk out of the cave when Jack started to stand up.

" No, wait. I'll come with you." He was a little unsteady on his feet, but he made it. It had been merely a day after the accident that Syaid, and Michael were back on their feet again. Jack apparently was stressed, and needed sleep to help him rejuvenate.

" I'll come too." I said standing up. Jack looked at me and smiled.

" Obviously I can't talk you into staying so..."

When Jack and I got to the beach we saw Sawyer and Syaid fist fighting. Jack ran over to break it up, I just stared. Now what was happening? Michael was containing Syaid while Sawyer and Jack struggled with each other. I ran over to Jack and Sawyer,

" What the hell is going on?" I asked.

" That jackass over there is accusing me of stealing Shannon's inhalers."

" Did you?" Jack asked.

" No." he spat out. Syaid yelled from the other side,

" He said he did! He has them!" Jack took a hard look at the firm lines of Sawyer's face, and let go.

" Does she need them?" Jack asked. Syaid nodded,

" She's having an asthma attack! Jack looked back at Sawyer's smug face- and grabbed him and went into the jungle and tied him to a tree. I followed him.

" Jack, what the hell are you doing?" Suddenly Syaid appeared out of nowhere with a sharp knife- and a rock. " Jack?" I asked cautiously. Jack turned an angry face to me,

" Just get out of here Kate. Go the caves and lie down." He demanded.

" No, what are you going to do?"

" Get Kate." His voice was rising with anger.

" NO JACK!"

" JUST GO!" Jack finally yelled. I looked into Jack's angery eyes. I knew he was going to do something extremely stupid, but instead of stopping him I turned my back on him, and walked away.

It had been a few hours later when Jack came looking for me. I was out on the beach, sinking. I was looking at the waves wash a shore then drift back out to the ocean. Jack came up behind me and whispered,

" Beautiful, huh?" I turned around,

" Oh yea?" I looked down at his hands, " Did you wash the blood off yet?" Jack looked at me.

" Kate-"

"Jack, no, your a damn doctor- your not someone who tortchers people to get inhalers." I took a deep breath. " What you did is wrong."

" It was the only way Kate. Damnit don't make me the bad guy here!" He yelled.

" But you are!" I yelled back. " He didn't even have the damn inhalers, and you tortchuerd him!" Jack looked at me carefully-

" Why are you defending him?" I looked down,

" Because," And I walked away. I walked back into the forest and disappered. Suddenly there was a down pour of rain dousing everyone not in shelter:

_**When you get caught in the rain  
**_

_**With nowhere to run  
**_

_**When you're distraught and in pain  
**_

_**Without anyone **_

_**We keep prayin' to saved  
**_

_**But nobody comes  
**_

_**And you feel so far away  
**_

_**That you just can't **_

_**Find your way home **_

You can get there alone

_**It's okay  
**_

_**What you say **_

_**I can make it through the rain  
**_

_**I can stand up once again  
**_

_**On my own and I know  
**_

_**That I'm strong enough to mend  
**_

_**And every time I feel afraid  
**_

_**I hold tighter to my faith  
**_

_**And I live one more day  
**_

_**And I make it through the rain **_


	11. Falling to pieces

It seemed like it would be forever until they'd get rescued, and I had a strong feeling that we never would. It hurt me to think that, I would never see anybody I loved again- but then again they all died. But I couldn't deny what a beautiful day it was turning out to be though. The sun shining, blue clouds covering in the sky, and crystal clear wheather.

I hadn't talked to Jack yet, and he hasn't made the effort to talk to me either. He was busy making his rounds to see if everybody was okay. I did a really stupid thing today- I went to see how Sawyer was doing.

" How ya doin' Sawyer?" I asked. I sat horizontal to him in the infrimary. He looked up with those sad blue eyes that you rarely ever see.

" What Freckles?" I don't know why I did it, maybe an impulse, or maybe an urge to make him feel better. I got up and hugged him,

" I'm sorry." I felt his strong arms wrapped around me- it felt nice to be welcomed. WHen I pulled back I sat on the air plane seat next to him.

" Why? You don't like me Freckles- do ya?"

" You can be an ass sometimes but..." I looked down at the cave floor. " I know what it's like." I whispered.

" What? Speak up Freckles." Sawyer said smugly. I looked at him sadly, madly.

" I know what it's like... to be torchured." When I looked back up into Sawyer's face- it seemed softer. He studied my for a while then said,

" Oh..." I took a deep breath, I was about to get off of him but he didn't let me leave. His mouth came down to mine and my arms went around his neck. I loved feeling loved, or at leasted liked. Sawyer made me feel wanted. I pulled back and looked away. I stood up, and headed out of the cave when Sawyer said,

" Why do you keep going back to him?" And that made me think.

** WHY DO I?**


End file.
